Twenty (20) Relationship Myths That Are Disastrous

I am NO pro at marriage. I am still in learning school trust me, but in the few years of counselling and listening to both men and women, I think we have mixed up some things. We have allowed traditions of men and culture define and make complex something God made very easy and straight forward.

Unfortunately, we keep passing these warped ideas from generation to generation and we keep raising men and women who really dont have the slightest clue what marriage is all about.

Having deeply thought about some issues, I have listed 20 points. Its ok to disagree with me, None of the points is meant to be a general rule. Its my own point of view, you can take it or leave it you wont go to hell if you dont. lol.

1. It is a blatant lie that ALL men cheat. That it is in his nature to cheat. WRONG! It is the nature of every created human to SIN, both male and female. But when you are born again you receive the nature of Christ! Cheating should be alien to you. You don’t cheat because you are a man, you cheat because you have fallen short.

2. Men are purely logical, and women are emotional, devoid of any reasonable thinking especially during an argument. This is also NOT true. Both male and female have the capacity to both be emotional and logical. Because both are attributes of God and we are both created in his image. One may suppress the other at different times in either male or female. It was wrong advice our mothers sold to us that we can always have our way by shedding a tear or two. It has landed us where we are now, where we are not taken seriously even over serious matters. And our fathers have raised men have succeeded in suppressing their emotions and bottling it up, this has resulted in overgrown babies throwing tantrums “upandan” because they are not allowed to cry.

3. The solution for a woman who cannot bridle her tongue is to physically assault her. That is wrong. The solution to a nagging woman is to live on the roof top! Like adultery or fornication, you flee! Any man who results to physically abusing a woman for whatever reason is less of a man. And any woman who thinks that is justifiable is a shame to womanhood. There are other mature ways to deal with such issues. And a man/ woman who results to verbally, financially, mentally or emotionally abusing his/ her partner is still in kindergarten stage of the school of marriage.

4. That a wife was created to solve all your domestic needs as a wife. Marrying a wife is the same as having a cleaner, a chef, a housekeeper, a sex machine etc. this is a lie straight from the pit of hell! She is your helper in providing solutions and support where you need it. She is your partner not your door mat! Not another acquired property.

5. It is a sign of weakness for a man to display love and affection to his wife publicly. The village people will say she has used his head. Another lie! Telling the world your wife means the whole world to you does not mean you are a softie, it only affirms you are truly like the one who created. Because HE never misses an opportunity to display his love for us.

6. The issue of submission has been overrated and the issue of being the head has been explained out of context! Submission should come freely and willingly, exercising authority as a man is a function of taking responsibility not being domineering. The extent to which you provide headship is to the extent to which you as a husband accept the headship of Christ. The man is the head of the woman as Christ is the head of a man.

7. A husband is just another baby, howbeit an overgrow baby. I consider this an insult on behalf of the male community! If we had any idea how babies are treated no one would ever want to treat her husband as such! A baby is incapable of making ANY life changing decision. Infact ANY DECISION AT ALL! If you have believed this lie pls wake up!

8. Men love sex more because they are wired that way, hence the reason why some have community penis! A woman who loves sex is turned a hore! Her husband begins to suspect her and think she must have been sleeping around! Men and women can both have the same drive and love for sex, most times the case is reversed because society made it so! A woman was raised to believe sex is like food to the man! Haba! Guys man up! You are more than that dangling thing in between your legs!

9. A man who allows his wife shine is sabotaging his opportunity to shine. Really? Oga Shine your shine, let me shine my shine! Such a man is insecure and totally ignorant of the power he possesses, has he not read when the bible says that he may sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word that he may PRESENT HER TO HIMSELF a glorious church. At the end the man is honored. That’s what we see in the life of the prov 31 woman.

10. Women are not all about money! the devil has sold this lie over the years. It is sad that some from among us have portrayed us so. But a real man knows the worth of a real woman is NOT in the gifts or materialism. But in immeasurable ways she adds value to his life, this cannot be quantified by a gift and you cannot put a price tag on it.

11. A wife is NEVER TO be compared to a side chick, girlfriend or a hore! NEVER. They both operate on two different platforms. One, on a platform of marriage instituted by God himself and carries weight in the court of heaven, the other is just nonexistent! You want to argue this? Wondered why God is the witness between you and the wife of your youth? Or why your prayers will go unanswered if you don’t treat her right? I have searched my bible and haven’t seen any place where God gave such power to the side chick. A side chick will never have audience with God over another man’s marriage.

12. A marriage was not instituted by God to run on philia and Eros love alone. Both parties will get drained! What sustains a marriage through the thick and thin Is the LOVE OF GOD! A 3-fold cord is not easily broken. When the butterflies stop churning your stomach and the goose bumps refuse to appear all over your body, you will then realize what sustains a marriage is beyond the capacity of human love but the love of God!

13. To define trust as knowing what each person is always doing in marriage is to adulterate TRUST. Trust is potent when you are absent. If I must keep a tab on you to defend my trust for you then there is already a seed of distrust sown.

14. Oneness is NOT defined as sameness. That we finish each other’s sentences does not mean we are compatible and shows oneness. There are many intimate strangers walking around in “anko” looking like a cute couple, but they are so far apart. There is beauty in difference. Our ability to acknowledge and appreciate our differences is what fuels our oneness!

15. There is NO marriage in heaven. This is true. But we will each still give account of what we did in our marriages in heaven. So, live with heaven in mind! You will give an account!

16. NEVER ever manage in courtship what you CANNOT live with for the rest of your life. Don’t ever fall into that trap! Yes, people do change but its not up to you to change them. We are NOT given that power! Never marry in HOPE, marry in FAITH! Faith has substance the other doesn’t!

17. It is a lie of the devil that staying in an abusive marriage is sign of strength! And God awards BIG marks to those who do. Lie, lie, lie! God would rather have you alive and healthy than broken and lost! Like sabbath, it was made for man not the other way round, so also is marriage, DO NOT make a God out of it.

18. A man with more sons commands more authority. What makes a man a blessed man is NOT the number of sons he has; it is in how he deals with his affairs. The bible never said, SONS are the heritage of the Lord. It says, CHILDREN are the heritage of the Lord! Even if all is quiver is full of daughters, you can argue with your keypad!

19. When a woman makes more money, she automatically becomes the head. NO SIR! Being the head is not about how much money who makes, it’s about submitting yourself to the headship of Christ. Its about being the Christ in the marriage. A man who cannot provide (emotional, financial, spiritual, social support) to his family is worse than an infidel. What you are supposed to provide is more than financial support.

20. A wise woman builds her home. A wise man gives her a home worth building! Adam was already tending and keeping the garden before Eve showed up. The responsibility of building a home is NOT solely that of a woman. Her default role is to support! This role has been twisted that is why the prayer houses are full of women. Understanding your purpose in the life of man as a woman will help you live long!

©️ Felix Victory Chinecherem

®️ Pricelesssoul

#Youandyourmarriage

#whenGodhelpsalady