Why Christian Marriages Fail

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In today's article, we will be looking at various reasons why Christian marriages fail.

This is a very lengthy discussion that has lots of different views but, we will concentrate on just a few in this article, citing various thoughts from renowned people

Now, why do Christian marriages fail?

Rick Lannoye author of the honeymoon ends with I do

has this to say

Most marriages fail, and by "fail'" we should include, not just those who get divorced, but all those who stay together legally, but are nevertheless very unhappy with each other!

But what's really bad is how many authoritative-sounding men would have us believe it is inevitable that love is doomed to die and the best we can hope for is a miserable life with someone we can't really stand...but are obligated to stay with anyway, until we die!

The fact is--this extremely low expectation is a LIE, and it's not just a common mistake!

There are many different forces at work to perpetuate this lie, and they're mostly people who are greedily PROFITING from the misery of most married couples! There is a large array of corporations (who are allied with religious leaders) who have conspired and continue to conspire together to keep convincing people they HAVE TO be unhappy...because it makes the lots of money!!!

Just to name a few: guess who buys more things (more cars, more houses, more clothes, more furniture, more, more, more material things)? Happy couples? NO! But unhappy couples who have been bamboozled into thinking they have to be miserable, so they try to compensate for the emptiness in their souls by buying more things, a LOT more! Who spends more money on services? Vacations? Spas? Going out to eat? Happy couples? NO! Miserable married couples do!

Who drinks more alcohol? Who uses more drugs? Who goes to more therapists and shrinks? And who spends more time in churches where they're promised happiness but end up just sitting there getting second-rate entertainment from the religious stages that have replaced many, if not most, pulpits and altars? Happy couples? NO! It's married couples, the vast majority of whom saw their love slip away once they got married, usually be a year has passed!

So, what is it, then, that happens when a couple who was very happy sees that happiness disappear so soon after the say, "I do"?

It's actually not some hidden mystery! It's because, when you marry, you make a trade, a very bad trade!

Before getting married, you WANTED TO BE TOGETHER. In fact, most couples can hardly stand to be apart when they are in love! But when you marry, you surrender the one thing that has the best chance of, not only keeping you together, but keeping you together HAPPILY! You are setting aside the WANTING TO BE together for a very, very poor, if not damaging substitute--a HAVING TO BE together! And once you begin HAVING TO TOGETHER, it's only a matter of time before you won't want to be together anymore!

In addition to that, social media influence Journey Of A Christian Lady says marrying for the wrong reasons is a major factor why marriages fail. Below are some of the reasons she highlighted

-To spite your parents and family members.

-Everyone is getting married

-To heal from your past hurt or negative self esteem.

-To satisfy your lust and sexual desires.

-To find someone who can cook and wash for you.

Instead:

-Be ready emotionally, spiritually and financially to go into the union called marriage.

-Get married purposefully, not because everyone is getting married.

-Look forward to being with your partner and friend not someone who will solve your problems and do house chores.

There's so much divorce we see everywhere. This is not God's intention for marriage. So prepare, read books, attend seminars, pray earnestly before you get married and continue even after.

Don't waste all your time and money preparing for you wedding and forget to prepare for your marriage and plan for your home. Your wedding is just one day, everyone else goes to their houses and you will be left alone to build your home.

If you enter unprepared, you will definitely see the unexpected. Courtship is not only the time for romantic calls, outing etc. It is a time to talk issues, read books, attend seminars and pray. If we want to build godly homes, we must be ready for it.

Don't gather people for your wedding ceremony, your friends will pay for asoebi and you will be saying something different after few years. Prepare and be convinced.

The following 3 highlights are excerpts from 31 reasons why Christian marriages fail written by Christian living tips

These are:

Pride

Love is not proud. Pride has caused many Christian marriages to fail.

When a partner makes a mistake or says something hurtful, but is then too proud to apologize or admit to being wrong.

Pride also prevents couples from seeking counseling or help from spiritual leaders, pride says “we can fix it ourselves”

Selfishness

Selfishness causes couples to not compromise. Being selfish in a relationship can cause resentment and conflict.

Selfishness tells your partner that you do not care about their feelings, views, or desires. Philippians 2:3 says “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

Rather, in humility value others above yourselves"

Feelings of entitlement

The I-deserve-this feeling manifests in different ways. Some are seemingly unharmful like wanting an apology or feeling you deserve a “thank you”.

There is also harmful entitlement like using the Word as a weapon to get what you “deserve” such as sex from your partner.

We should remember that Jesus left his entitlement in heaven when he came down to earth and took what we deserved (death) upon himself.

The truth is, according to Madam Foluke Felix Adejumo a lot of people have issues in their marriages today because of their ignorance and inability to marry right.

Don't marry a man because of what he drives, marry a man because of what drives him, because of his vision, because inside that vision are multiple provisions.

You don't endure marriage, you enjoy marriage.

Men, don't marry because of beauty because alot of people have ended up in a wrong marriage due to wrong choice, don't marry because of beauty because that beauty will soon fade and you will be left with nothing.

Some ladies get involved with a man because the man is handsome, not knowing the kind of person the man is , not knowing if you are compatible with the person. Marriage is not all about being beautiful or handsome but it is all about choosing or marrying well.

Marriage is the highest level of friendship, so marry someone you can easily associate with, not minding your faults or errors.

A good marriage is a marriage that is built on sincerity and trust, marry someone you can be honest with, someone you can be transparent with, someone that is not ashamed of your past, someone that knows your fault and still sees you as someone he or she can trust .

Marry someone you are comfortable with, someone you are not afraid of, someone you can confide in when problem arises.

A good marriage is not built on secret, so for you to have a peaceful married life, you must be willing to live in sincerity and honesty

Marriage is a convenant relationship between a matured man and a matured woman, marriage is not for boys and girls, if you are still writing your school sat, you better focus on your exam and stop looking for whom to marry because marriage is not for children. Marriage is between a man and woman, not between a man and man nor a woman to woman, It does no matter what the world says, Jesus will still have remnants of people that are preaching righteousness, holiness and also living it.

Marriage is mutual, it is not a master servant relationship, so any man that oppresses his wife simply because he thinks he have every right over the wife is a coward.

There are four levels of maturity before going into marriage which includes:

*Spiritual maturity: Don't get born again today and start looking for whom to marry tomorrow because you need to grow spiritually as a Christian because it takes being a child of God and getting married to a child of God to have a successful marriage.

A good Christian marriage is a salary paid by God, so if you serve God as a single person, God will bless you or pay you with a good marriage, so before going into marriage, you need to be spiritually matured.

* Emotional maturity: Marriage is not a bed of roses, there are times where you will get offended but it takes how you are matured emotionally to handle such situation.

As a man, if your emotional life is still tied to your mother's apron, you are not ready for marriage. For you to have a good Marriage, you must be emotionally stable and able.

* Financial maturity: as a matured man and as a matured lady, you must be financially capable to ensure you have a peaceful and good marriage.

You may not have all the billions, but ensure that you have a stable income. As a man, you must be financially capable to provide for your wife and children i.e, you must be economically matured before you go into marriage.

*Physical maturity: Don't rush into marriage because you think you are too old because if you rush in, you will surely rush out. Marriage is a matter of maturity, both being matured in the mind and in the body, so ensure that you are physically matured i.e bodily matured to contend with what takes place In marriage.

A lot of marriages fail today because their foundation was not properly built. Don't have a failed marriage and to ensure that, you must have a solid foundation

Conclusion

Reading this article about reasons why Christian marriages fail you might feel helpless and negative, but there is hope in Christ.

Spend time with your spouse, studying each other and God’s word. Pray for one another and make time to explore each other’s hearts and get to know each other anew.

Don’t be discouraged. If you are in a marriage that seems like it is failing, hold onto the promise that “what God joined no man can separate.”

Reach out to your church community for love and help.

Watch films such as Fireproof or Indivisible with your spouse, read books together, and sign up for courses like the Love After Marriage online course.

Remember to not lose hope and to “not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6

Our marriages will not fail in Jesus name🙌🏽🙇

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©Robert Godson